(originally written February 14, 2012)

I woke up Sunday morning without any realization that my life was about to change so dramatically. In fact, all week I had been telling myself to be realistic and not to get my hopes up.

So, when I was sitting in the car on Sunday morning at 11:39 AM, I don't know why my hands were shaking when I dialed the phone. I left a message and waited. Impatiently. Thank goodness Erik was right there with me or I would not have been able to handle it.

And then at 11:43 AM when the phone rang, I was prepared for the worst. And I told myself that either way, I wouldn't cry.

And then I heard those words.

"Your test came back positive."

And I looked at Erik in disbelief and simply said, "Are you serious?"

And the voice on the other line said "Yes."

And I couldn't help it. The tears just started flowing.

Tears of pure and absolute joy.

At that moment I realized that I was going to be a mom. And that Erik was going to be a dad. An awesome and amazing dad.

After 18 long months, our prayers had finally been answered.

There's not a lot of moments that you can say will really change your life. And there's not a lot of moments that you remember so vividly.

I remember as a kid when I had the chicken pox and my dad stayed home to paint with me.

I remember meeting Erik the first time (by the bathroom).

I remember sitting in my living room in my first house when my mom told me my grandpa was in the hospital and wasn't going to make it.

I remember when Erik got down on one knee and proposed.

I remember walking down the aisle toward him on our wedding day.

I remember sitting in the hospital the day Erik was diagnosed with a blood clot.

And now I have the memory of the moment I found out I was going to be a mom.

And the moment where Erik told me that he would be there for me no matter what. And the many times he and I have said the words "I love you" in the last 2 days.

It's still surreal. And I have a feeling it will be for at least a few more weeks.

So, here goes nothing.

I can't wait to meet you, little one.

Thank you for already changing my life. And for giving me yet another memory. And so many more to look forward to.

Love,
Your Momma