Deep down I think I always knew I wanted to be a mom. 

My kids make me laugh on a daily basis and are the sweetest snugglers. Will melts me when he says "I really love you mommy" or "Will you be my best friend?" And John doesn't really talk much yet but the way he puts his head on my shoulder before going to bed and smiles at me when I walk into a room is pretty much the best feeling in the entire world.

But this motherhood thing... its hard.

Yesterday I felt like I said the same things on repeat to Will and he never really got it. Part of it is being 3. And part of it is him developing his momma's stubbornness. And it all culminated with an accident on the kitchen floor when I was in the middle of trying to make dinner. And that ended in me getting upset, yelling and then crying while simultaneously trying to finish making dinner, change my kid out of wet pants, clean up the floor and start a load of laundry. 

But as I sit here writing this, this morning, after an unusually trying day yesterday afternoon, my little guy is decorating me with stickers. My big guy is sweeping the floor and watching Daniel Tiger. They both ate good breakfasts and Will cleared his plate and pushed in his chair. They both wanted to use my mops and brooms to help me sweep up the floors. And its these little things that I need to look back on and remember.

Will mowing the lawn yesterday with his bubble popping lawn mower while I was raking up sticks.

John walking around in his striped pajamas and getting into all sorts of cute trouble.

Will calling his brother "my little stinkerpants"

The endless games of Candyland.

The race cars strewn about my house.

John yelling to Will through the bathroom door because he wants him to come out and play.

The every day, totally normal things that we do just because we are here together.

And damn, are we lucky. Because not everyone gets to do this whole motherhood thing. So even when I have a really bad day or part of a day, I am still so glad I can wake up thankful for my kids and the absolute gifts that they are in my life. And that we can live this completely ordinary life.

I know there will be bad days. I know there will be struggles. I know there will be yelling and tears sometimes. 

But I also know that I love these kids more than anything and would do anything for them. And that they won't be this little forever. And so I'm going to get off my computer and go play with my kids and enjoy this beautiful day with my beautiful kids and be grateful for the gift of God's blessings in my life.